Sharp Portable Air Conditioner

Head Cold

Chill out, buddy. There's no reason to lose your or anybody else's head over this.

First off, I just want to state for the record that I did everything in my power to fix my mistake. I really did.

Anyone here can tell you just how seriously I take this job. Each and every one of the clients within my care are important to me. I watch over them, share my thoughts with them, and even read stories and play music for them on the off chance that they can hear me. These people aren't just customers; they are like members of my own family.

So just imagine how panicked I was when the coolant systems failed in the Room Seven. Imagine my horror when the back systems stalled and wouldn't come online. Imagine the pain I felt in my heart as I looked into the steadily thawing shelved faces of heads that I think of as my dearest friends.

I know what New Tomorrow Cryogenics' policy says to do in a similar situation. I could recite to you every word in the Employee Handbook from cover to cover. But I couldn't be bothered with things like "rules" at a time like that! I had to act quickly! I had to jump in my car and buy every bag of ice, every frozen treat, every Sharp Portable Air Conditioner featuring 10,000 BTU cooling capacity and three fan speeds I could get my hands on!

Due to the company awarding me stock instead of giving me a raise this last evaluation period, however, I was only able to purchase the one Sharp Portable Air Conditioner. Once I got the window kit set up and set the digital thermostat down as low as it would go, though, it cooled the room like a champ. It just didn't cool it enough. Which is why many of our clients are covered in various flavors of ice cream. It seemed better just to apply the stuff directly to their heads at the time. I know it doesn't make much sense now, but I hope it proves that I cared so much for them that rational thought was nearly impossible.

As you are no doubt aware, my plan didn't work and I've fled the building, leaving you only this note. It is my hope that, though the horrible melty scene before you may haunt your nightmares for some time, you will see that I did my best to rectify the situation under intense pressure. I hope I can still count on New Tomorrow Cryogenics for a reference in the future.

P.S. Sorry about the smell.

Source: http://www.woot.com/blog/post/sharp-portable-air-conditioner

Rose Byrne Rose McGowan Roselyn Sanchez Rozonda Thomas